Living without expectations – why I think it is BS….

“Live without expectations, and you will not be disappointed” says junta. This seems to be the single mantra for  peace, happiness, salvation and everything beyond.

While it all sounds right and ideal, practically – I think it is a load of BS.

Let me tell you why.

Every one of us belonging to the species of homo-sapiens have some way, in some form.

Mother, father, siblings, children, grandparents, spouse, best buddy, favorite aunt, dearest uncle, that cousin, this neighbor,pets… someone, anyone. Every one of us love someone, in some form.

And with love comes trust, and with trust…comes expectation…unsaid, unexpressed expectations.

It is there, right there..inside each one of us. When the love and trust is strong and deep on either side, we are unaware that we really do have these expectations. We notice it only if the routine breaks…

I know, that deep inside my mind, I expect the unconditional love of my Dad, Mom and my little girl. I expect that my Dad will come to the door every morning when I leave for office. I expect that every evening, as soon as my daughter returns from school she calls out “Mom, where are you?”. I expect that every time I go to my Mom with my thousand “issues”, she patiently hears me out.

And these happen, every day, without fail, and I am not aware that I expect anything from them.

Sit back and think, don’t we all have some form of expectation from the ones that we love?

Think back to the relationships and friendships which went sour, love gone north and trust betrayed. They were all a failure of expectation in some way.

Everything is an expectation.

Love, trust, loyalty, faith, commitment – aren’t these all a form of expectation? Expectations that comes naturally in any relationship between two human beings.

When you are asked to live without expectations from anyone, it is like asking a person to not trust or bond with anyone. A life devoid of authenticity and emotions. And that I believe is such a shallow way to live.

I would rather say, place your trust on people with extreme care. Be courageous and vulnerable (yes ..that sounds contradictory but true), and be genuine in all that you do. Love with all your heart.

But before you love others, learn to first love yourself – completely and deeply. For when you love and trust yourself and you are there to fulfill every expectation of yours, the relationships you form will also be with the ones who love you as deep as you.







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